Chapter 1

I never thought I would be a "blogger". I have had thoughts of starting one for a while and have come very close several times. I get to the step where you have to name your blog and give up. I become overwhelmed with the idea of having to define myself and somehow come up with something witty that would express a theme of my writing. I settled on a title and thought it would be a work in progress. Actually, I think my inability to name my blog goes much deeper than just that.

The reason I have the time to finally start a blog is because the photography studio I work for is closed for 2 weeks for the holidays. This sounds great, I know, except for the fact that it is unpaid, and it is done not so much to give us a break but to save the boss money. This is a good introduction to my boss whom I will be writing about often. I have worked for a photography studio for a about a year and a half. During this year and a half, I have almost quit about 5 different times. About the last 4 times have been because of the boss, but this time there is a lot more to it. I feel that I am at a huge transition in my life. I talked to my dear friend, Rachel, this morning who shares this same struggle that I do: we feel the deep desire and need to find out who we are, who we are created to be, how we can use that person to serve and love through a vocation. She said it very well that we are at this awkward st(age) in life. We are realizing the need to define who are spiritually, make it our own, and redefine all of those things growing up that made us who we are today. I am not saying that none of that was good, but that it wasn't necessarily our own. I have become unsatisfied with not only my boss but also my line of work. Since working is a fact of life, I want to use my time and energy for something Good. It is almost like I am starting all over, rediscovering who I am created to be and what I am supposed to be doing.

So I find myself at Chapter 1 of what I hope to be a great journey. My ex co-worker turned friend also finds herself in the same place that I do (only she has had the courage to quit :)). She has shared something in her blog that spoke to me, and I feel is worth quoting:
All the directions I feel pulled towards doesn't mean I'm
severly undecisive, it perhaps means, that God is revealing
parts of his long term plan for me and all I need to focus is on
the next step. I may not understand the next step or see how it leads
to the end, but it's a step I will have to take to get there.